


running 2 u

by chthonics (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Self-Indulgent, based off of my mental breakdown today :), if it wasn't obvious, mark is 15, seriously when am i getting my pills, they're brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:53:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26500204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/chthonics
Summary: mark has a mental breakdown and as usual, his brother comes to make him feel all better.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 46





	running 2 u

**Author's Note:**

> someone be my johnny *cries*

he regret it as soon as the blade fell to the floor in a loud, sharp clatter. 

_ what a fool.  _

obviously, the noise was loud enough for someone downstairs to hear against the dull, empty silence of their house, and the creaking and sliding of feet ascending the stairs pushed him momentarily out of his panic attack. 

_ fuuuuck.  _

“you okay in there?” he heard after a series of noises, hand shaking to cover and stop the bleeding of his left arm. 

automatically, he nodded his head, then remembering he couldn't be seen, took away some of the pressure on his arm and croaked, “um… ye-yeah. im okay.” 

believable or not, he wasn't entirely sure, as the blood was beginning to drip loudly against the pretty, white tile of his bathroom. 

_ fuuuuck,  _ he repeated. 

“are you sure? do you…. you need me to help you? with anything…?” 

at his brother’s suggestion, he jump started to life, opening the bathroom cabinets loudly and searching for their first aid kit. he hadn't planned on harming again (he is- _ was _ clean for 5 months) and his brother's clear concern sent a wave of guilt and self hatred flowing through him. he felt small and ridiculous; how could a little thing such as school work set him off again? 

_ fool!  _ he heard the voice repeat, and internally shushed it. he’ll deal with that later. 

“mark?” 

pausing, he tilted his head towards the door and bit his lip. if anyone found out he was hurting himself again, he would either be sent back to the clinic or get his phone taken again. tuff shit. 

“yeah..?” he replied, hand automatically reaching for the bathroom knob; then remembering his situation, pulled it away as if burned. 

“im coming in, okay? i promise i won't tell anyone. alright?” 

sucking in a breath, he let the words tumble through his mind like clothes in a dryer before the door opened, slowly, cautious. 

johnny said nothing as he quietly stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind him. 

“let me,” he murmured, bending down to retrieve the aid kid and popping it open. mark held his hand out, and johnny worked in silence, cleaning the wound 

(“ahh,” he moaned as johnny cleaned the cuts, and in reply he received, “i know, i know.”) 

and bandaging it. 

when he was done, mark sat back on the rug, and his eyes immediately fell to the floor. 

johnny placed the kit back in the cabinet, picked up the razor, and gently slid it in his back pocket. he would probably throw it out later, but for now he sat back, eyes carefully watching his brother, waiting. 

  
  


_ for an outburst? cursing? crying? god, he probably hates me. i'm so pathetic… whining and cutting over fucking school.. god i hat- _

“you know,” he heard, eyes drifting up to his brother’s face, before dropping to the floor again, “it's alright to relapse. its part of recovery. i.. am proud of you, you know. for letting me in…” 

he paused, eyes catching onto the other's, gauging to see if he was being genuine or not. deciding he was, he nodded, words stuck in his throat. johnny seemed to pick up on this, and smiled, arms sliding down from his knees and now opening.

opening for mark to crawl into them, and feel warmth again. it was a distraction; a grace period. like healing, even if momentarily. 

so naturally, like he always did, he crawled in and let the warmth sink into the murky depths of his mind, his body, and he felt safe. 


End file.
